This is not my ceiling
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
