i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
