How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
