Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
