i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
