I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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