i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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