belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
