so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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