Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
