Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Holy shit dude........stairs
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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