Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
you never un-have a 4some
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
