we have pet lesbian snakes
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
