there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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