tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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