I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I am available for nakedness
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
