Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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