I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Randomize
