Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I have grass duct taped all over my body
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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