I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
