You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
