Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
