just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
