So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
