Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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