it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Success! We fucked roommates!
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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