Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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