Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
