rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
