Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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