doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
