Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
