I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
