I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
