I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Randomize
