At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
