Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
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