so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
