apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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