She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
