i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
