I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
