Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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