Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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