dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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