I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
