oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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