Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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