Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
i think im in europe. pls send help
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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