No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
