last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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