Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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