Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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