Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
